If He Had Been With Me

I tend to overthink every situation and feeling, so I really enjoy books that show different points of view. Laura Nowlin’s If He Had Been With Me and If Only I Had Told Her follow Autumn and Finn as they tell their stories. Their moms, best friends, and neighbors helped them become close from a young age. Each book gives us a look into Autumn and Finn’s thoughts. As they move through middle and high school, pressure and misunderstandings pull them apart. Autumn becomes more reserved, feels left out by Finn, and starts dating Jaimie. Finn joins sports teams, becomes part of the popular crowd, and dates Sylvie. By their senior year, they begin to rebuild their friendship and eventually reconnect after years of distance, assumptions, and sadness.

Good things don’t always last. When Finn tries to break up with Sylvie, they get into a terrible car accident. Finn survives at first, but later dies after being electrocuted by a downed power line. Autumn is left heartbroken and empty, and the story ends with her finding out she is pregnant with Finn’s child.

What I love about this book is how it helps you understand the deep feelings each character goes through. The overthinking, questions, and regrets made me realize we never really know what someone else is feeling. Whether it’s a crush, a friend, or a coworker, fear can actually push us to share how we feel. Life is too short to just wonder. After losing my mom to cancer, this book reminded me even more not to hold back from telling people how much we love them. We never know what could happen to us or someone we care about, whether it’s today, tomorrow, or years from now. This book is a great reminder to never be afraid to open up and be the bigger person. Love is always stronger than fear.